The Game

"The Game" may more commonly be known as the name of the rapper, the Michael Douglas movie, or some a book or something... Who knows. I know it mainly as one way, and all of those other versions of the game just make me lose the game I'm talking about. So what is the game? 

It's so simple in explanation that it seems hard to grasp for some. Really the only rules of the game are:

     1. Everyone is playing the game.

     2. You lose the game when you think of "the game."

     3. You must tell someone when you lose the game

(Lastly, there is a 30 minute period of grace where thinking about it doesn't cause you to embarrassingly lose again)

Oh yeah, and you cannot really win. I suppose if you die, then you're out of the game, winning in a way. Then again, you're dead and you are likely thinking of the game as that last breath passes from your lips. I kid you not; this game can drive you mad.

What I am doing is awful in a way, even though it doesn't really change anything at the same time. Everybody is playing, as mentioned before, but it's so easy to not lose if you don't know about it. But if you are reading about this, then you're odds to lose increase exponentially.

I am one of the two worst players I know. For years, up until my senior year in college, I would lose every couple of months or something. And it was usually in a really understandable way, like when someone says "Hey man did you catch the game last night," or "I'm not gonna play the game with her," and then it would hit me. Sheepishly I would say "I lost the game," and we'd be on our merry way. Oh, how it has snowballed...

Whenever somebody emphasizes the word "the," I lose. Whenever I think about thought, I lose. Whenever I have a strange train of thought, I lose. You'd be surprised how often one of those occurs in a day. So I'm losing far too often, and it's driving me crazy. 

I am a very happy person, but this has nearly become the bane of my existence. No health concerns are on my radar, I don't live a dangerous lifestyle, and I don't do drugs. A lot of the factors for dying are off the table for me. But the game might take care of that...

(Sorry for the bleakness, but man, his this thing weaseled into every corner of my brain)

Honestly, though, despite my ominousness when speaking of the game, you will probably get a kick out it for a while. Just be careful not to embrace it too quickly, it will become your worst enemy. This is my attempt at diffusing some of my loserhood to my readers. And with that, I say:

Let "The Game" Begin!

A Two-Way Street

If you have ever worked in retail, you know that customer service is one of your most important responsibilities. You need to build rapport with each customer, approach them with a smile and a friendly greeting, offer help in any way, and take all the bull s*&t they throw your way. Wait... Why the last part?

I'm not referring to the part where you have to take it, because honestly, you kind of do. The customer is always right, almost. It's rare where there is a case where they are not, so you pretty much always do have to take the shit they throw your way. But I'm referring to the fact that some of these monkeys are picking their butts and deciding to direct their shit at you. That's just unfair.

I have countless stories I could share, including ones from my time as a Telemarketer(I dealt with English "shit" and Spanish "mierda") or at my current retail escapades at Whole Foods. But I have a had a few from my current job that have just shocked me that some people ask for help in the ways that they do, making sure to degrade you as much as they can before requesting a favor.

(Please know that in no way does it ever anger me. I'm not an expert, but my studies in communication make these experiences fascinating for me so I am pretty good at the whole "smile and nod" thing)

Yesterday a tiny, ancient Asian(Chinese I believe) woman approached me and asked me if we have Organic Chai concentrate. I told her I knew we had conventional, but would have to check for the organic. Unfortunately for her, we did not. So in response to this, she slowly got down on one knee and started removing all of the conventional Tazo brand Chai concetrate containers from the shelf and setting them on the floor, absolutely sure the organic version had to be there somewhere. As I assured her that we didn't have any because there wasn't a price tag for it, here are some of the responses:

"I drive very long way for organic chai,"

"How can you no have organic chai? Ridiculous"

"What wrong with this store,"

(Those are direct quotes, not racist embellishments. It just makes for an even more interesting story, adding some comedy to the insults)

I'm pretty sure she even accused me of having some incapacity as well, but who knows. Once she was convinced I wasn't lying, just incompetent, she begrudgingly left.

The other one that got me, though, was back in the heart of the holidays, a time where all customers are on the tops of their respective bull shit games. A woman called to place a special order(a service we offer where customers can order a case of a product and get 10% off the whole case). At that time, this service was very inefficient, and actually this interaction caused me to take responsibility of this part of our department and it is now a very efficient service. I'm not asking for applause, however, anyone would have done this if they spoke to this woman.

Anyway, the woman called and instantly I could tell she was going to be a fun one. She started telling me how she had been ordering this specific cereal for about 6 months(a case a month) and every time it was a hassle. She would never get it when it was promised her, information was lost, wrong cereal was ordered, blah blah blah. She started rattling off names, all venomously pronounced, and that's where I'll pick up her quote:

"I've spoken to Charlie. I've spoken to Zach. I've spoken to Andrew, Chad, James, and I don't know how many others. I must have gone through you're whole department. What's your name? Jeremy? I mean seriously Jeremy, you can't all be this stupid!"

Yeah, she said it. I covered the receiver and my throat began to grind in my pathetic attempts to stifle my laugh. She may have caught a little bit of it, because it was so hard to control. Still covering the receiver, I told Andrew what she said and his eyes went ballistic as he told me to hang up. I told him to calm down, that this kind of experience is gold to me, and I would handle it. 

I got all of her requests, clear and concise, and had the product ordered quickly. We got it faster than she had ever had before but I didn't get to see how she acted when she got it. Very entitled, I presume. 

Lesson is though, most people will react like Andrew, and they have a right too. There are more responsibilities to a retail job than most can understand, so when interacting with "us who can only hold a job at a grocery store," know that we are people too and when you are friendly, we will do what we can to make your experience better. Customer service is a two way street, customers.   

Never Stop Fighting

This post falls completely in line with my blog summary. There are atrocities committed all over the world by the minute, but there are also people who are fighting against it or at least some rebellion being built within those suffering the atrocity. It's human nature. When we feel there is an injustice being done, somebody will speak up. So for all of those pessimists out there, those that think this world is ugly and growing uglier, you can read these and maybe find our future a little less bleak. 

The Time 100 is a list put out every year by Time Magazine that lists the 100 most influential people in the world at this time. The list covers every kind of person of interest, including athletes, actors, politicains, tekkies, world leaders, advocates and more. This year has some names that we hear all the time, like President Obama, Tim Tebow,  and Adele. But it also has some other incredible people that you may have never heard of, fighting for causes you would fight against but don't know where to start.

Dulce Matuz is an undocumented Latina who came to the States as a child and began pursuing a degree in Engineering, but ran into immigration issues once graduation approached. As a result, Dulce founded the Arizona Dream Act Coalition, a cause that promotes a path towards citizenship for people who like her, are good people who just want to live in a country with freedoms. Oh yeah, she's only 27.

Donald Sadoway, 62, is an engineering professor at MIT whose goal is to create new forms of sustainable energy for the country. He is engineering a battery from molten salt and liquid metal that is being developed into grid size to be used as a safe energy force. What's even cooler, he's developing these batteries as the only expert on his team; the rest are his students.

Asghar Farhadi, 40, is an Iranian filmmaker whose film A Separation just won the Oscar for Best Foreign Film. The film, set in a volatile Tehran, depicts the conflicts of two couples, one secular and one religious, in a way that has opened the eyes of people all over the world by giving us a personal view of what has often been so secretive. But Farhadi isn't using his Oscar to integrate him into the world of Hollywood Big-wigs; he's using it as a platform to reach an audience with a message supporting the underrepresented people of a country.

These are just a few, and you won't want to stop with them. I read all 100 summaries of these people and couldn't help but feel pride well up for being a part of a world where we fight for what's right. These people make me think that my goal of changing the world is more than possible, because like all of them, I am passionate for this world and the people in it. I want to be like the people on this list.

Not to sound melodramatic or cliche, but these people bring hope to everyone and they are determining the path we are going. And once you read their stories, you may change your mind about where this world is going. I, for one, don't think it sounds too bad.

Monticello, Utah

Have you heard of it? You may be thinking, "hmmmm.... it sounds familiar," but that's because it took its name from the famous estate of Thomas Jefferson. If you're one of my potential new-found readers from out in Colorado(Thanks Polly), you may have actually heard of it, but never been there. If not, it seems to me like it's worth a peek.

In my blog yesterday, the fun one, I mentioned meeting my brother halfway when I fly out to Denver in July. Halfway between Phoenix and Denver is right around the Four Corners. When I realized this, I almost just dropped everything, determined to see this marvel. But then I thought about it, in a philosophical way, and realized it's only special because cartographers got lazy and started drawing boxes that led to four states coming together at a corner. It's amazing how easy it is to make something lose it's luster if you peel back the layers.

The point of this trip, the part where I meet my brother anyway, is to strip ourselves of as many luxuries as we can. So to go to a location with people snapping pictures and reading pamphlets from kiosks isn't ideal. My main goal is to hike a mountain, and maybe even camp one. Just for fun. I searched nearby mountain ranges and came up with a few options. Then I cross-checked them with cities nearby so we could make a pit-stop if we needed and found the combination of Monticello, Utah and the nearby Abajo Mountains.

It was like striking gold. The mountains were big, but not difficult, perfect for a group of amateurs. There are bike trails and rivers and everything a wannabe outdoorsman could want. The mountains seemed perfect. But don't forget the city. 

I got my info from Wikipedia, so you know it's good: Monticello, Utah

It's a town founded by Mormons and there's only about 2,000 people in it. How personal! It's at the base of the Abajo Mountains so the view is going to be incredible. And then there's this:

The Hideout

The 23rd ranked municipal golf course in the country. I am totally an amateur golfer (although I played my first time this Saturday and got several pars through 9 and just missed a birdie) but I thought this was a great opportunity. 

Mapping out that route from Phoenix to Denver provided a bit of serendipity. I found a tiny little city that few of you know and that I think I will love. It makes you wonder what other hidden nuggets of cities are around, and why I haven't taken the initiative to see more of them.

Yes

I'm going to start approaching this blog a little differently from here on out. What this will likely have to become in order to survive is a place to channel momentary thoughts, not life's philosophies to be shared when I feel like writing. Countless amounts of people have told me that I have to blog about Europe/Spain when I go and because I will want to spend as little time in front of a computer as possible, my previous expanding blog posts will have to step aside for thoughts of the aside. 

"I would love to come out to Denver this summer," I said to my aunt last weekend. "Yes, I'm gonna try to make it happen."

And now I just bought my ticket to Denver, for under $300 for 6 days. Wow, that's exciting. I'll be there July 4th-10th, all because I said "yes."

I have been saving money far more effectively than I ever could have imagined and I am on pace to be very comfortable when going abroad(as long as I choose not to party hard 24/7). And when my aunt told me in a doubtful voice that she'd love to see me again before I left, I said "yes." 

Who knew that one word could be so liberating. People always say "why not," but instead of just saying, try feeling it. Try removing that barrier of debilitating practical limitations and ingrained hesitation. Just get rid of those and then say "yes" without a single doubt in your decision. 

I'm going to Denver in July. I'm going to go further West than I ever have been. I'm going to drive hours and hours South to meet my brother halfway. I'm going to climb whatever mountain is nearest us when we meet. Hell, I'm going to eat a Rocky Mountain Oyster if I can.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!

Sure, there is too much of a good thing, and saying yes to everything could probably lead to overexertion or something like that, but I think that's only in the case of things you wouldn't always say "yes" to in ideal conditions. If you want to do something, do whatever you can to make "yes" possible. I saved money and asked off work. It's a "yes" for me, it should be for you too.

And in about 4 months it will be "si" for me.

Here's to You, Tricia

To all of my loyal followers(Mom and Grandma), it seems that I have fallen off the face of the planet. Or at least fallen off the responsibility of my blog. When I began this, as usually is the case with me, I had grandiose visions of what it could and would be, because of a culmination of frustrations that I thought would provide endless topics of interest. However, the blog has become, as I said before, a responsibility. And one that I have not been good at maintaining. I fear that blog posts will become more infrequent as summer approaches and I get out of my school, the one place that allows me to be trapped with nothing to do but seek an outlet. 

But I do have a topic, and as you may have guessed from the photo, it concerns courage. You may have also guessed it concerned cowardice, and in a way, the two are united by a polar relationship, but what I will speak on today concerns the more admirable trait. Then again, I think it is the less common one, so the opportunity to write about it is like a bird watcher finding a dodo. Well not quite, but you get what I mean.

This weekend I will be going home for the first time since Christmas, the longest such gap I have ever had. Part of it is a car that is rapidly losing my confidence. Another part is me priming myself for the more expansive periods of time I will be from home. A final part is an actual emotional separation. I have slowly changed in the way that I feel that I do not have a static "home," so being out and about is more comfortable than being with the familiar, as I have said in previous posts. 

So what prompted my decision to come home? Why, it is so that I can witness courage.

My cousin(technically second, but even cousin feels too separate for the relationship) Tricia and her mother will be visiting the area so that she can speak to the members of her former church. If you do not know her, you may ask why does she deserve an audience? And the answer is simple: she is one of the most courageous people I have met. 

I still remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when my grandma called me to tell me that Tricia's husband Robb passed away in his sleep. The feeling of dread has still never entirely left me since that phone call. It was one of those moments that lead some people to seek out a higher power, because there can be no reason capable of human understanding as to why something so horrific would happen. They are such good people. And no "they" became "her."

Tricia, amazingly, survived the ordeal, but continues fighting everyday with that loss and the job of being a widow raising two young boys. She of course has help, but that battle is nearly insurmountable. Yet she continues to climb. 

And while it is not hard for you to immediately see the courage in this situation, there is still more. Tricia started a blog detailing how she felt during the whole situation, how she missed Robb and what it was like raising two young boys. She put herself out there for all to see, and will do so again in front of a large audience at her church this Friday. 

I cannot speak for Tricia, but as I imagine it all, this does not feel like courage to her. I imagine that it started out as a release for her. When Robb passed, her emotions likely were bubbling up constantly and spilling out in ways she did not enjoy, so she had to channel them somehow. I believe that's how the blog started. And for a while, it was probably one of the best forms of therapy. At that point, it's true, there may not have been courage involved, because she was doing it for herself. 

But as her blog developed, so did her audience. And what started as a release became a retreat for others. Tricia had to become transparent for others so that they could read into her lives and draw inspiration into their own. As a fellow(yet very amateur) blog writer, I know the difficulty that comes with the transition of this being for you becoming a responsibility for others. And while I make general observations about humanity, Tricia posts the ins and outs of her life, and there is some incredibly personal stuff on there. 

And what's even more courageous, she has allowed herself to develop as a writer and as a person through all of it. She's getting buzz about book deals and readings and all kinds of things. People want to hear her, and she's letting them. Let me break this down for you.

She had the courage to: 

1. Blog about a very personal event

2. Let this personal event be a responsibility for others, and not just herself

3. Embrace this awful event as an opportunity grow as a person and as a contributor to this world.

What likely would have knocked all of us on our asses for years, maybe even a decade, has in a little over a year, become an undeniable source of inspiration for thousands and thousands of people because of Tricia's courage to take that blow and in turn, knock it on its ass. If fate had a hand in Robb's passing, I bet it did not know what kind of woman it was dealing with. 

So here's to you, Tricia, with your glowing smile and your charming laugh. Here's to your transparency and your incessant will to help. Here's to your determination to not let this thing beat you. Here's to your being a mother, and the caliber of mother you are. 

Lastly, here's to your courage, which will more than you can imagine, make believers out of so many people who don't know how to believe. We can look to you and know that sometimes, even when it seems impossible, we have to just believe.  

Love you, Cousin. See you Saturday.